Happy Wednesday All,
Last weekend was a huge disaster for relationships around me and as I was helping some friends and family get through their problems I was forced to think about why this was all happening over the same weekend. At first I thought it was a small personal confirmation of the "2012 disaster to come" lol but the real me thought deeper. I began to study the behavior of each person on both sides of the relationship and what the major issue was.....all of a sudden I noticed it!
Confidence vs Insecurities
Everyone Insecurities but not everyone has so much confidence. My cousin was the first break up of the weekend so we will start there.
He is the flashy type and at a glance looks like the most confident person on this side of the universe. BUT! He recently told me he is very very under confident with himself and his ability in a relationship. He takes a lot of crap from his girl but at the end of the day he does his job pretty well. I also noticed that he and her play way too many games with each other to be the their age (24 and 26) and that makes the other side feel like he/she can't trust their partner. Next step in the negative process is the communication break down. HUGE FACTOR! Neither side ever reveals their true feelings and then the assumptions about what the others motive is changes each person's thought process. Finally with all the game playing and B.S on both sides of the table the break-up is inevitable and Nasty!
On his side he is under confident so he still wants to stay and "make it work" too late, too far gone, its a wrap.
THE SOLUTION:
1. Always make your sig other feel they are the #1 in your life hands down!
2. As crazy as it sounds, be "Willing" to get hurt. You can't carry luggage from the past or it will quickly turn to the finish line.
3. If you are feeling under confident, having a problem, trust issues, or just pissed the best thing to do is TALK!!! It's not hard and you will both benefit from it.
4. ARGUE! if you feel like you wanna argue then do it get it out and hug each other after =) (or just have make up sex, or both whatever works0 haha
Closing:
Always be confident and know what you are bringing to the table in a relationship. If you don't know ask your other. Also if you do land on someone who is trying to take from your confidence (swag) from you then leave! "Never waist time on a dead end job, dead end car, or a dead end relationship" -ME
later peoples hit me with any questions/concerns!
Live life and be YOU! If someone doesn't like it there are billions more that will I promise =)
Wow, really great insights. It's easy to know your in a good and healthy relationship when you are with someone who encourages, pushes you and wants the best for you... Simply that. Someone that wants to control you or someone that consistently puts you down, you don't need to surround yourself with... Also knowing that you can't change someone, they have to change themselves, is very important.
ReplyDeleteVery True! Thanks for the feedback as well =)
ReplyDelete