http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJGMAhWpDF8
PLEASE WATCH THE YOUTUBE VIDEO BEFORE READING ON AND OR COMMENTING:
Okay! This is a really serious topic to a lot of women I have talked to and gotten to know recently, also it is something that I have taken notice of in my own observations as far as relationships I have been in and one's I have witnessed.
I believe this to be a True fact in the black community. There are a lot of single people and there are a minimal amount of eligible men who can suit these upstanding black women. Now fellas I am not taking a shot at you at all, it's just the fact. Most black men are either in jail, have no degree, and or just don't know how to treat a woman. Now women to be in the defense of my fellow men, there are plenty of us out here who will take care of you better than your mother or father ever would. He just may not be such a baller at first sight. You have to peal back the layers of the black man and get to know him.
Most women believe they can do this at first sight which in most cases they can but there are a select group of men who are the "diamond in the rough" type. This simply means that he has not found that drive due to any of a million reasons. To give a few examples it could have been an issue with up-bringing, a past relationship, or even he could just have made some bad moves in his past or even recently.
There should always be interaction before you can judge a man's way of life and motivation. If you are an upstanding black woman you may not always find that man in your life that can be at your level right away BUT there is always room for improvement. I think with all the movies made on the very subject women should know that this is an advantage for you. You take a man who is "rough around the edges" and change him and he will never leave. (in most cases) You can't hold the bar so high that Jesus himself is the only man who could live up to it. Sometimes you have to make a situation better before it's a great vision.
It's like if you are house hunting and you buy a shack and turn it into a mansion you will love that home so much more with all the hard work you put in.
Just be willing to try and make something from what looks like nothing. It's not going to kill you to just be easygoing and relax on the whole "STANDARDS" thing you have going.
Fellas:
The reason behind the way girls are these days is solely our fault as far as the way women think about relationships. If there were more men who knew what women wanted from the jump things would be so much easier.
I think after all the wrong doing women go through we are the reason they are gay, salty, or even actin like guys as far as the way they approach a relationship.
I am going to start another blog for the gentleman's touch soon.....
In closing I think there are too many people in this country for there to be no one for some people. Sometimes you have to drop that pride and be the woman to ask a man for his number. Being black is a strike against you anyway.
From a woman's perspective I think black women are stereotyped to be more aggresive, louder, more bitchy, and all out drama. In some cases this is true and others not but overall this is what most people think from the jump including black guys. Like I said it could be upbringing, past relationships, or just something they have seen through friends.
As far as men go we have the stereotype of the player, thug, "big kid", and historically un-successful, and when we get successful we blow it on big chains, big cars, and clubbing.
These are things we have to fight off as a race but until the mask is removed no one will see you as anything else. So be willing to make the first move and show that other person who you are as a man or woman.
Troy R....
